Kandy and Constipation

After finally getting a good night's sleep, Chris was woken by a resounding "f#*%!" from next door. We assume he slept through his alarm and instead of waking at 2am to start the Adam's Peak trek, had woken at 7am. Oops.

From the get go, Chris wasn't feeling 100% partly due to the cold sore I had so kindly shared with him (we are currently getting around sporting matching scabs on our lips) and partly because he hadn't had a bowel movement since Unawatuna.

While I devoured my breakfast as usual, Chris tried using coffee as a laxative. Considering he doesn't even like coffee, and this was pretty rough coffee, we were really hoping it would work and be worth the spoons of sugar he piled into it before being able to get through it all. No success.

We loaded up our bike once again and headed for Kandy with the promise of "good roads" from a local guy at our guesthouse. And for once, we were not disappointed. Sealed bitumen!! And only one u-turn! And the u-turn was only about 10m beyond our turnoff, rather than our usual 10km. There were even signs the entire way to tell us where to go! We covered the 90km in two and a half hours and the bike even got to hit its maximum speed of 60km/h for a while there. So, in comparison to every other day of riding, this one was a dream despite Chris feeling average and me busting for a wee most of the way. .

Rural Sri Lankan roads have less places for roadside weeing than one would have thought. With a steep drop to our left, and a steep hill to our right, there weren't many places to pull over, let alone nice private spots for doing your business. Additionally, around every corner are congregations of people. Whether they are doing roadside landscaping with a machete, picking and sorting tea or just loitering and staring as we pass, there seems to people everywhere! While I did like the idea of relieving myself amongst the growing tea plants knowing that tea would later by picked, processed and distributed to places like Australia, I ended up behind a parked bus. Again...classy.

It's funny the things you come to take as 'normal' even after only ten days of being here. For instance, that toilet paper is not provided with your room but rather costs extra. Or that when going around a blind corner you should assume there is a bus on the wrong side of the road coming towards you because often, there is. This is when it pays to be on a motorbike rather than in a four wheeled vehicle. Or, how people pull out in front of you but by smiling and putting their hand up to signal for you to stop, all is seemingly forgiven. Or how people honk their horns expecting you to decipher between whether its an "I'm behind you" honk, an "I'm coming past" honk, an "I'm coming toward you on the wrong side of the road" honk or a "hey, look, two white people on a motorbike in the middle of nowhere going the wrong way down a one-way street, let's say hello" honk.


We arrived in busy, diesel-fumey Kandy and found Star Light Guesthouse, a place with hot water, for 1500 LKR. Sold! Still no sprung mattress though and this bed, like all beds over here, are about six inches too short for Chris. As are the doorways. He hits his head regularly and has decided he is simply too tall for this country. Oh, and the door to our room has a lock which doesn't actually lock so we're putting our padlocks to good use.

"Footpath," Sri Lanka style

We took a walk around the lake, which very much reminded me of Hanoi except that Kandy is exceptionally less peaceful as buses wizz around spurting diesel fumes in your face and here monkeys sit next to you chewing on mango seeds. The footpath around the lake, like the A7 road, is under construction so basically they've ripped the majority of it up leaving mounds of dirt, muddy pools, scraps of pavers and gravel to manoeuvre around. Not exactly a leisurely stroll. We hit KFC for some overpriced Western cuisine which was totally worth it except that Chris took about two bites before realising he was overheating and his tummy needed to be emptied before any more food could possibly go in. So, off to the pharmacy we went for some actual laxatives and some cold sore cream.

We spent the afternoon, with Chris feverish, waiting for the drugs to kick in and killed time by reading aloud Into Thin Air by Jon Krakauer. This personal account of climbing Mt Everest is helping to inspire our longing for Nepal.

With Chris still not well and it raining a little by dinner time we ventured only a short way to grab a roti and a samosa for dinner. Upon our return, the long awaited happened. Poo!!! We really are getting to know each other on a whole other level being over here. Bowel movements and everything. Relieved we think we may stay another night at Star Light and check out some sights around Kandy tomorrow before hopefully checking out a Kandyan Dancers show tomorrow, if everybody's bowels are behaving themselves.

Tuk Tuk wisdom: "haste makes waste"